— Albert Einstein
Love is difficult to define. How do you avoid confusing it with infatuation or lust? Philosophers and psychologists both have attempted to define love, or at least its difference from infatuation and lust. If you are looking to find love, the following observations may be helpful.
Steps to Love
- The dictionary defines love in the ways we use the word. For example love is:
- A strong positive emotion of. affection or pleasure. e.g. "His love for his work." or "I love cooking."
- Any object of warm affection or devotion or liking; "the theater was her first love". I love French food.
- Beloved: a beloved person; used as terms of endearment
- A deep feeling of sexual desire and attraction. e.g. "She was his first love" or "She loves her husband."
- A score of zero in tennis or squash; "It was 40 love!"
- Sexual love: sexual intercourse between two people. e.g. "They made love." "He hadn't had any love in months";
- Love is characterized by the desire to do anything for that person no matter what. And you're willing to work out your problems together. And you just can't hardly breathe when you're around them and even though you may see them all the time or hardly ever it's as if you get that rush of what you felt when you got your first kiss #The Greeks defined love in four categories:
- AGAPE love is unconditional love. It is love by "CHOICE". A good example is "GOD LOVES US"
- PHI LEO love is the love of "ATTRACTION" guided by our likes or our healthy or unhealthy needs and desires.
- STORGE is a physical show of "AFFECTION" the need for physical touch.
- EROS is the physical "SEXUAL" desire, intercourse.
- Define love, what does it mean to you? Be bold and write down the feelings and thoughts you have about love.
- Be aware of moments you feel love towards anyone or anything.
- Consider your motives, what are you getting from the situation.
- Think about whether you'd feel the same way if the other person's looks were to change.
- Capture that feeling with metaphors, poetry or songs.
- Define love like a psychologist: love can be viewed triangularly. There are three key components: passion, intimacy, and commitment.
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- Passion underlies physical desire, sexual behavior, and arousal. This is the physical side.
- Intimacy is the emotional aspect: closeness, connectedness, and warmth of friendship.
- Commitment is the decision-making part "CHOICE" of love; are couples willing to work it out?
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- Understand that love may start as harmless flirting and smiles and winks and maybe even kissing, but it is usually infatuation at this point, a more curious approach by one or both parties. While time is usually spent looking to discover more about this intriguing person, much time will be spent pondering the many possibilities of what could happen, or the consequences that may become of a certain action, or on the other hand the good that may come of it.
- Understand that most often to the person in love there will be little left of interest in the real world, food will taste bland, concentrating will have become a serious mental struggle and even fun pastimes may seem worthless, as pacing and walking or even simply sitting or lying while thinking about the person seems a more sensible thing to do.
- This type of behavior can lead to serious disturbances at work and at home, especially if the person feeling love is already an item with somebody else with whom they may have shared these feelings at some time in the past.
- Note that although love has never been scientifically proven to exist, it is thought; quite accurately as of yet that one can only be in love with one person or thing at a time. The part of the human being that is reserved for sharing with another (which some may call the soul, or the heart) is used up while dedicating itself to that one source, and that it is impossible to feel the overwhelming feeling twice at once.
- Although similar, love is thought not to be like pain which has definite locations; it is thought that it can move around, although usually it will reside in the lower stomach or the bottom of the throat, with sensitive areas like the temples and the legs and joints feeling stressed and weak. The mouth is often dry and the eyes seem strained, and this is all usually given the diagnosis of love sickness; or in some cases where love isn't present; influenza.
- Understand that time does seem to be the only healer in the case of love. The full connection of two loving parties (mutually) could lead to a stronger relationship, and developments such as procreation and marriage; but in the case of a single party or the rejection of the first party by the second, or even in the case of a secret love, being in love will usually only fade after the interest is out of sight and out of mind, or gives full closure to the pursuer.
- Realize that in some cases (especially in literature) love will last forever. No matter how much time passes by, or what obstacles become present in the path to true and pure love, love will endure. This may be far fetched from reality, but many find it to be a preferable way to think.
- Although this may be a much more joyous belief to have of love, there are also those situations where love does fail. This can be easily said to have been due to false love of mistaken identity between persons (as lovers are star crossed and are meant to find each other). Either way, the difference between feeling love and not feeling it is a distinct one, and cannot be mistaken. It is a true sickness that is present and can be more crippling than the flu, depression and many other illnesses combined.
- Love can cause war; in the cases of love of religion and the love of money; war can cause people to steal and murder, it can lead to suicide and shatter marriage and family life, it can spread disease and give birth to evil; but love is eternal and cannot be eliminated, it is what makes people human. "I think therefore I am" may also be translated as "I love therefore I am". Being able to think give us the ability to choose our partners not because of their breed or simple survival of the fittest, but in order for us to develop as human beings, and to share our love and spread it on to new generations, so that while love lasts eternally, our mark upon humanity lasts forever through our children and children's children; we have made our mark upon humanity; our genetic code will continue to be passed on and develop for ever more. This possibility is a gift, not a dedication, we have to choose as we were born with conscientiousness, not animal instinct.
